Sea.

I am currently in a relaxed and tired state of mind. It is rather hot tonight and I just took down a part of my curtain to increase airflow into the room. While in this state of mind, I would like to share something that has been bothering me for over three months. It's actually about somebody who is important to me. I'm not going to share what the exact problem is, because I know what went wrong. I just want to share the feelings that came out of it.

But not exactly.

Sea. is a story I'm developing right now. I'm not too sure what it will be, but I do know what it is right now. That is, I know what I'm pouring into it. I just haven't really thought about the characters, world, or even the story. I just know bits and pieces of it, mainly the feelings I want to evoke.

Anger. Sadness. Guilt. Repression.

All I know is memories can get distorted. Sometimes they disappear, but others have a way of manifesting themselves into larger things. And sometimes the memories we have are not really memories, but remnants of dreams from long ago that we don't realize that they were never real events to begin with. 

A person tries to find their friend's killer while learning more about their friend's past.

And we all float on

I just started my second year at college. It's been about two days in, not counting weekends. But that's just classes. For me, college started a couple of weeks ago, so in total, it's been about 15 days. I have gone through some pretty dramatic changes in just a two weeks. In fact, it got me thinking about how drastic life can change. Just a month ago, I was in Indonesia. And a few days later, I would be coming back home, later to come to this realization, just as I always do after I come home from Asia.
 
Sometimes when life changes too dramatically, I immediately become stressed out and tense. This is really unfortunate, because I jump at the chance to try something new. However, over the past year or so, I realized how much I value my space. For the past two weeks, I had been running around with at least ten other people, always eating with some person, never really alone by myself. So I never got time to process my thoughts by myself. Which is never good for me. See, I need to relax by myself once in a while to recharge my mind and body. I remember when I was studying a few months ago, and I never got the chance to be by myself. I was angry and rather unhappy with the people I was studying with, even though I really know they're amazing people.

I love that quote from Pulp Fiction, the one where Mia tells Vince, "Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence."